Thank You For Being a Friend!

Is it just me, or do you get the Golden Girls theme song stuck in your head every single time someone invites you to a party? Imagine me belting out drunkenly and off-key:

Thank you for being a friend 
Traveled down the road and back again 
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant. 
And if you threw a party 
Invited everyone you knew 
You would see the biggest gift would be from me 
And the card attached would say thank you for being a friend.


Although I suspect there would be more exclamation points in my version. Hey, why can't you do TV theme songs at karaoke? How about a KARAOKE THEME SONG PARTY?! Omg, I will have to throw this SOON! But for now my good friend CC hosted a housewarming party to show off her very modern new place close to Washington D.C.

The thing about CC is that she's better than me at everything. She has a very yummy cooking blog - Kitchen Konundrums  where she posts some of her creations. Although you can't tell from that how crafty she is, too. I spotted a home made spring yard wreath and some cool  homemade kitchen magnets at her house as well. And the lady can crochet rings around me without looking down. So when she invited us to her party and said I didn't need to bring anything, I knew I'd have to come up with something great!

Luckily there was an article in Wednesday's Washington Post by Jane Touzalin about her adventures in artisan cracker making. Now, I've made crackers before, but when she insisted, "The idea [to make crackers] struck me as brilliant, for several reasons. It would save me money. It would require no special equipment. It would let me customize my snacks to my taste. And a bag of rustic-looking crackers, tied with a pretty ribbon, would make a charming hostess gift, for the next time I had a hostess," I knew I had to dust off my rolling pin and do it again!

The crackers were simple (recipe follows) and I packaged them in a basket with jalapeno jelly made from last summer's harvest, some home grown cut sage tied into an approximation of a smudge stick, a bottle of bubbly, and some freshly cut herbs. I made matching labels for everything to match the basket, and had a cute gift to take to an equally cute friend!

The party was lots of fun and the food was A. MAZ.ING. (but you had me at home made bread and grilled squash!). For dessert, she made individual mousse cups with fresh whipped cream AND strawberry shortcake cups. WHO DOES THAT? Seriously, it was the best!

Crisp Rosemary Flatbread Crackers

from Jane Touzalin for the Washington Post

adapted from a recipe in the July 2008 issue of Gourmet

Ingredients
1 3/4 cups flour, plus more for the work surface
1 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
2 tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh rosemary
1/2 cup water
1/3 cup olive oil, plus more for brushing
Flaked sea salt, such as Maldon

Directions

• Place a heavy baking sheet on the middle rack of the oven; preheat to 450 degrees.
• Lightly flour a work surface.
• Stir together the flour, baking powder, salt, and 1 tablespoon of the chopped rosemary in a mixing bowl. Make a well in the center, then add the water and oil gradually stirring them into the flour until a soft, shaggy dough forms. Turn the dough out onto the work surface and knead gently 4 or 5 times to bring the dough together into a soft, smooth ball. 
• Divide the dough into 6 equal pieces. Work with one piece at a time and keep the remaining pieces covered with plastic wrap. Divide the first piece into 4 equal pieces; roll each one out on a sheet of parchment paper into a long oval shape, roughly two inches wide and nine inches long. Use the tines of a fork to prick the cracker several times. 
• Brush each cracker lightly with oil and scatter a little of the remaining chopped rosemary on top, then a little of the salt, pressing slightly to adhere.
• Bake until pale golden and browned in spots, 4 to 6 minutes. Transfer crackers to a rack to cool. 

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Does This Shirt Make Me Look Like A Transvestite?

So, I've done refashioning before, and this is something that has been in the back of my mind for awhile since I've gotten so hooked on cardigans here in this unending winter. The thing I've never really done is taking a piece of clothing from my kids and making it my own. I have all boys, after all! But when it got cold last year (way too early, in October), I had them each go through their closet and drawers and pull out stuff that they'd outgrown or didn't like anymore. On the chopping block was this sweater that I'd bought for my oldest son when he was seven.

And he was still wearing it two years later at age 9. 

But by age 10 and after a growth spurt brought him up to five foot four, it wasn't going to cut it anymore. But It's argyle! I have such a weakness for argyle. So I stuck it in my closet of stuff I don't like enough to wear, but can't part with just yet. As this dreary weather drags on into late March, I've gotten pretty sick of all of my winter clothing, so it seemed like a good time to tackle this project. First, I tried on the sweater to see if I could just wear it as-is:

Well, I guess I COULD have just worn it, but I like my tops a bit longer, and the sleeves are too short. Plus how exciting is a plain old sweater? Instead I wanted to make it a cardigan that I could layer over other shirts because I have been all about cardis this winter.

I looked through the notions I already had on hand and found some gray ribbon and some target-like buttons from a big plastic bin my mother-in-law gave me. 

I just cut straight down the front of the sweater, using the diamonds as a guide. Then I pinned ribbon along the right side of the fabric and stitched it down, then flipped it around to the wrong side, tucking in the top and bottom to enclose all raw edges, pinned that and stitched close to the edge of the ribbon, like so:

See my Pfaff? I really love this sewing machine. The problem is that every time I use it I just want to use it more and more. This might be the fact that I just watched Fatal Attraction for the first time last weekend talking, but I might have to steal its pet bunny and boil it. It's just been sitting in the bottom of the pressboard case that it was in when I got it, but last night I tried it out in a sewing machine table I'd picked up a few months ago and it fit well enough. Not I just need to refinish that case, get a new handle and some set screws for it and I'll be in serious sewing business! Of course, it's going to have to warm up enough for me to spend time in the garage stripping and sanding it. 

Since I didn't want to have to put button holes on an unstabilized knit, I decided just to sew on snaps with buttons on the outside as decoration. That took a million years (six two-piece snaps and six buttons), but it was ready to wear the next day!

I pushed up the sleeves and put it over a striped T-shirt I've had forever with a black corduroy skirt that I made last month or so. And of course tights since it's still, unfortunately, tights weather. I know my iPhone is in the way. One of these days I'll get around to buying a proper camera and maybe a tripod so these pictures aren't so sad. But probably not any time soon. Regardless, I'm happy with the results. You really can't have too many layering pieces, and on fat days I can put it on and tell myself that I'm wearing a shirt made for a 7 year old. 

Falafel? More like FalAWESOME!

Being a vegetarian in 21st century America is probably a much different beast than in years and cultures past. If you miss hamburgers you can get something made of chemicals and bits of soy nearly identical to the real thing. Vegan but love cheese? Have some more soy that defies all logic by approximating real dairy goodness. Want some Kung Pao chicken, but without the dead bird in it? You can do that, but (spoiler alert) it's also made of soy.

Not that there's anything wrong with that! I love edamame, tofu, and even the processed stuff, but at a certain point you have to ask yourself, "Should I REALLY be eating this much soy?" Especially with the scary reports of GMO and Round-Up Ready soy strains crossing into the non-GMO population even when you do buy organic.

Luckily there are lots of veggie-friendly cuisines out there that branch out a little. Like most middle eastern food which, instead of being almost entirely soy, is almost entirely chickpeas! And boy do I love chickpeas. For several years now I've been trying to figure out how to make that classic vegetarian dish from the middle east - Falafel!

Personally, I love falafel. My husband loves falafel. Most sane and rational people love falafel. My kids, on the other hand, took one bite and said, "OF COURSE IT'S BAD, "AWFUL" IS RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME!" And after that falafel became the ultimate super villian around here. Not just at meal time, but in their play - "The Evil Dr. Whatever turns all your food into falafel. OHHHH NOOOOOO!" etc. The antidote for this was for someone to turn the food into "fal-awesome" instead. But now that I've finally gotten the technique down, two out of three kids will eat it. The third will probably puke it out on the table, but that's still pretty good odds in this house.

You can buy a box of mix, and that's pretty good (to me; that's what the kids hated so much), but it's nothing like the nice green, fragrant falafel you get at a good restaurant. You can try all the recipes on the internet that start with a can of chickpeas, but I've never had one turn out quite right. And even when you find a good recipe that starts with soaked dried chickpeas, the instructions often leave out one of the most important steps to ensure that the falafel doesn't just fall apart as soon as it hits the oil. But finally, after much trial and error, I have mastered falafel!


The best recipe I found came from food writer/cookbook author Mark Bittman, who is a great source for recipes of all sorts, but particularly vegetarian ones. His recipe can be found here, and it's a great starting point for anyone who likes a mild flavored falafel. When I followed the recipe initially I thought they were a bit lacking in flavor (for my taste! I like things bold!), and they did what most falafel do - fall apart as soon as they hit the oil. But the flavor was so much better than the previous few experiments that we were satisfied to just eat the batter pan fried in a large pancake-like thing that we ate as wedges; similar to cornbread. In the next attempt, I figured out what I needed to do. So here is my PERFECT falafel recipe:

Falafel (or Fal-Awesome if You're Trying to Feed it to Kids)

Ingredients

• 1 bag dried chickpeas
• 10 cloves garlic, peeled (or just however many are in a whole head, I don't believe there's any such thing as too much garlic)
• 1 large onion, roughly chopped
• 1 tablespoon ground coriander
• 3 tablespoons ground cumin
• 2 teaspoons cayenne, or to taste
• 1 tablespoon garlic powder (again, I just really like garlic)
• 1 cup chopped parsley
• 1 bunch green onions, ends trimmed 
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 1 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 tablespoon lemon juice
• oil for frying

Directions

• 1. Soak beans overnight if you remember. 8 hours is really long enough, but more certainly doesn't hurt. 
• 2. Drain and rinse beans. I always find bean-soaking water to be a bit too funky to use for anything. Transfer them to a food processor.  Add all of the other ingredients, starting with only half the salt and lemon juice so you can adjust the flavor as needed.  Blend it all together; it will be a bit grainy, not smooth like hummus since the chickpeas aren't cooked. Taste and adjust seasoning as needed.  You could really play around with any spices you like.  Anything you'd put in a dhal or curry would probably taste great. 
• 3. Spray a cookie sheet small enough to fit in your freezer with cooking spray (or use parchment or a silpat). Shape the mixture into balls about 1 1/4" in diameter, or the size of a meatball. I just scoop out a glob with a teaspoon and then roll it between my palms to give it the right shape. This recipe will probably make three dozen falafel balls at least, so you might need a couple of cookie sheets. When you fill one, put it in the freezer for at least 15 minutes before moving to the next step. You can leave them much longer before they will actually freeze, so you could do this a couple of hours in advance.
• 4. Heat oil in a pot or fryer to 350 degrees. An electric fryer with a thermostat will make this a million times easier.  Drop falafel, three or four at a time, into the hot oil. If it's deep enough to cover, cook them for 3 or four minutes until deep brown on the outside, and cooked through inside. If they aren't submerged, turn them about halfway through to make sure they cook evenly. 
• 5. Remove with a spider or slotted spoon and drain on paper towels.

You can serve these with whatever other middle eastern dishes you like,  but my favorite way is to eat them on a home made whole wheat pita with hummus, tabbouleh, Israeli salad, maybe some lettuce or balela if we have beans in the freezer. Which sounds like a lot of work, but the nice thing is that all you have to do is chop onion, parsley, tomato, and cucumber and then you can pretty much throw all of that together pretty fast.

Oh, and don't forget the sriracha! Is it traditional? Probably not. Does it make everything better? Obviously. 

Since this recipe makes a lot, you can freeze them and have falafel ready for a quick lunch anytime. I've tried both freezing the dough balls and freezing the cooked falafel. Personally I prefer the latter. Freezing the dough and then frying it when ready made them drier and not as tasty. If you pop a couple of the frozen cooked falafel in the microwave for 30 seconds you can barely tell the difference from fresh. Which makes me wonder, in this veggie burger, soy cheese world, why doesn't anyone make frozen falafel?

One Man's Trash is Another Man's Sewing Machine

Although I don't blog about it all that much anymore, sewing is one of my favorite hobbies. I make things for the house as needed such as pillows, window treatments, and alterations to kids' clothes, mostly I make clothing for myself. It has been years since I shopped retail for clothing. Everything I wear is either hand made, thrifted, or both (as in refashions). So I am a big enthusiast of sewing machines, and I have amassed quite a collection of both modern and vintage machines that each shine in their own way. The truly amazing thing about vintage sewing machines is just how well made and really powerful they are. Sure they don't have automatic threaders or fancy stitches, but hit the right yard sale and you can get all sorts of cool vintage attachments like ruffler feet, narrow hem feet, and, well, frankly I haven't figured out what half the feet are even for.

Last year I was venturing out on my own one weekend and I spotted a big piece of plywood spray painted with FREE on it. I slowed down and decided to pass on the 80s era coffee tables and lamps, but then I saw a sewing machine and did a U-turn to snatch it up. Which isn't exactly the right description since the thing weighed about 40 lbs, but I tossed it in the car as best I could, and then excitedly called my husband even though I'd only been gone five minutes and we likely hadn't been out of each other's sight in weeks. You can call it co-dependent, but I call it teamwork!It;s just that an awesome discovery doesn't really mean anything without an appreciative audience!

My real hope for the thing was that I could use the table to hold my beloved vintage Pfaff that is currently residing in the lower part of the original carrying case (which has seen better days). But after getting it home and checking it out, I realized that the White Rotary machine was actually in a lot better shape than I'd initially thought. It was manufactured in 1917, but had been converted with a motor and installed in a new cabinet at some point probably in the 50s (based on the motor assembly). Still, it was worth salvaging, and although the cabinet was gross, I had faith that it could be beautiful once again!

This was after I'd started to take it apart and with a bit of sanding done. It was mildew-y, as if it had sat in a shed or wet basement for awhile, but it wasn't peeling apart like the last sewing machine cabinet I dealt with.

Unfortunately, the top did have some damage, so it seemed like painting would be better than stripping and staining it. The thingie on the left is a cool slide out mechanism that transfers the weight of the top when open back down through the case into the legs. I like that much better than the kind that rely on the front panel to be opened in order to support the weight of the top.

The little plug box was wired through the cabinet, so it must have come with it and was added at the same time as the external motor. There was no pedal with the machine, so I scavenged one from an old, broken Singer machine and rewired everything to get the machine up and running. Much to my surprise, the lightbulb still worked!

The machine itself was a good bit more work. I had to clean it all up, but also ended up taking most of it apart so that I could get inside and oil the appropriate bits and pieces. It took awhile, but eventually I got it all cleaned up (when I say "I", I mean that Neal helped a lot. This thing is HEAVY!) and working with only the addition of a new belt.

Interesting fact about White Rotary machines? They run backward.You have to spin the wheel away from you instead of  toward you as on most modern machines. There's a threaded hole to add a handle so that this machine can be worked manually with only the upper body. Also, they thread sideways - from left to right.

Once it was working, I was really excited to get the cabinet finished. I sanded it by hand with 100-, 150- and then 220-grit sandpaper, and then went over it again with 0000 steel wool. Honestly I didn't do that great a job since I was planning to prime and paint it. When we went to buy the spray paint, Neal talked me into trying Krylon Dual Paint + Primer in Glossy Black. This stuff is AMAZING! I've spray painted a lot of things in my life, but I'm not sure any have turned out as well. I sprayed on probably three coats, maybe four in some spots, just to make sure it had good coverage.

And voila!

I wish I had a picture of the whole thing when I first grabbed it, but I assure you, it looked nothing close to this. The machine cleaned up pretty nicely, too.

And of course there's the additional fact that now it works. 

Look how shiny! Although the handles and hinges are brass, no amount of steel wool or Brasso was helping, so I primed them, painted them with chrome spray paint, and then used antique gold Rub and Buff, followed by a coat of clear acrylic to seal it in.

When it's closed, I can shove the pedal into that little shelf on the door so that it just looks like a table.

I'm very very happy with this restoration, now I just have to think of something to make with the crazy, backwards sewing machine!

"Phở ? Yeah, I can probably make that," says the American girl.

So here's the thing about being a vegetarian and eating at restaurants where the menu is written half in squiggly lines - it's terrifying. Because even if there's no obvious meat in it, there are lots of other hidden things that might be like bacon grease, gelatin, powdered chicken fat (this is in pretty much EVERYTHING and I guarantee you it's not the healthy, pasture-fed, free-range, organic, happy chickens that they are decided can only be sold in the form of POWDER) or, in the case of Phở , beef or chicken broth. 

 I looked it up and there is some Buddhist tradition akin to extreme veganism where not only do they not consume any animal or animal byproduct, they also refrain from eating plants that would die during the harvest (such as root vegetables because the plant cannot survive without a root) and also strong flavors as they are interpreted as morally compromising. Now, I aspire to a certain degree of Buddhism as much as the next girl, but I NEED my sriracha. And Tabasco, salsa, harissa, curry paste, picante, pickled jalapenos straight from the jar... strong spices are my raison d'être. But those monks had their convictions, so they invented something called Phở Chay, "chay" being an approximations of the Vietnamese word "without" as in "without meat". The Vietnamese restaurant near me serves a Phở Chay; it's made with beef broth. 

 There has to be a compromise! Somewhere between "Let's throw in all sorts of pieces of animals!" (seriously, guys, TRIPE?) and "THOSE POOR CARROTS ARE DYYYYYING!" there has to be a bowl of soup both delicious and compassionate. I think this is pretty good. I started with a recipe from the January/February 2008 issue of Vegetarian Times, which you can find here. But I found it to be overly-aromatic, yet simultaneously bland. So I made another broth and mixed it in with the first; better. Still too much cinnamon, but I know for next time.

You might notice that I'm not one of those food bloggers who takes good pictures of food. That's because I have three kids, a full time job, and I cook every meal from scratch, so an iPhone pic is probably the best you're getting here. Plus I was way too busy eating to go get a real camera!

This is before I squirted on like a gallon of Sriracha, obvs.

    

Vegetarian Phở

Adapted from Vegetarian Times

Serves 6 to 8

For the Broth

• 1 box (4 cups) of vegetable stock plus 10 cups water
• 1 large onion, sliced
• ½ cup mushrooms
• 2 tbs. vegetable oil
• 10 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed
• 3 tbs. soy sauce
• 3" piece of ginger, peeled and thickly sliced
• 1 tbs. brown sugar
• 2 tbs.white wine vinegar
• 2 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. ground black pepper
• 1 cinnamon stick (I'd break it in half next time)
• 2 star anise
• 5–6 fresh basil stems, leaves reserved for soup (Thai basil if you can get it)
• 5–6 cilantro stems, leaves reserved for soup
• 1 package rice noodles

Garnishes

1/2 package Firm tofu

bean sprouts

lime wedges

cilantro

jalapenos, sliced

Thai basil (regular is okay, too)

baby corn

green onion, sliced

shrimp (not vegetarian, but I lured two kids into eating pho with shrimp)

Directions

1. Heat oil in a stock pot, then add onion, mushrooms, garlic, ginger, and black pepper. Cook several minutes and then add remaining ingredients, except the noodles. Bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer, covered, for at least an hour. 

2. Remove cinnamon stick and anise, then keep hot while preparing the rest.

3. Wrap tofu in paper towels and weigh it down to press out moisture. Toss with soy sauce and allow to sit.

4. Cook noodles according to package directions (just boil them till they're soft). Drain and rinse with cool water. 

5. Heat a small amount of oil (I use cold-pressed sunflower oil with a drop of sesame oil for added flavor) and cook tofu for several minutes per side, stirring often. Remove from heat once tofu has a nice color.

6. To serve, add noodles to bowl first, then ladle broth through a colander or sieve into bowl. Allow each person to add garnishes to taste.

I love all the garnishes but the shrimp. Plus I add LOTS of sriracha, of course!! Very easy, pretty healthy, totally vegetarian,  and a really satisfying way to get full on a cold night. 

Ripped from the Archives: Bedroom Edition

This post was originally made in April of 2011 when we still had pet ducks (they were just babies then even!) and were apparently listening to a lot of Evita. Our bedroom still looks much the same, and I still love it!

The choice was mine, and mine completely. I could have any bed that I desired. I could shop to the limit of the greatest card... or else... or else I could budget hard.

You know, and listen to Evita, watch a documentary on Eva Peron and... MAYBE force Neal to watch the movie version despite the should-have-been pantsless butchery that was Antonio Banderas' performance in the movie during the renovation.

I asked Neal to comment on the "before" pictures of the room. It's funny to me to look at them now because when I took them I thought, "Oh, it's not that bad. It's not great, but no one will come in and be shocked by how bad the room is." Now, I'm totally shocked by how bad the room was. As Neal put it, "It was ours but it wasn't." It really was all our stuff (as loathe as I am to admit it), but also, "The wall color was bland and unfriendly and, most importantly, not something we picked." Also, "The floor was the lesser of two evils (the more evil option being beige carpet that somehow quantum leaped into the second floor from 1976)."

For what I can only assume is his sense of decency, Neal fails to point out that it was tan. The walls were tan, the relocated floor was tan, the bathroom is tan... It was only not the most tan thing I've ever seen based on the main floor of the house. Because to get any more tan than that, you'd have to become a realtor.

The duvet was threadbare, the sleigh bed didn't really accommodate tall people, the layout left a huge unused space in front of the bathroom doors so that they could be, I don't know, OPENED. The fan was just honestly the ugliest thing I've ever seen. And, as the kids would say, I've seen UR MOM.

Let's take a look, shall we?

Tan here, tan there, tan EVERYWHERE!



I bet you could waste a whole lot of space if only the doors opened into the bedroom...


Ducks wouldn't even crap in here.


Wait, that's not right, we need another Evita reference. SHIRTLESS ducks wouldn't even crap in here. I want to tell the people of Argentina... this bedroom sucked.

Okay now that that's done, the worst thing was really the bed. I don't know if you know this about Neal, but he's pretty tall. Just over 75" and when a Queen size mattress is 80", it doesn't leave a lot of room for getting comfortable. We settled on a California King, which is 84" long and impossible to buy sheets for. Not to mention finding a frame to put it on. I looked around online and while I found some King-sized beds that were nice, something to accommodate the extra length didn't seem to be readily available unless you went with a flimsy metal frame. We wanted something STURDY. A platform strong as fascism! Which meant, of course, that we'd have to build it.

Neal wrote previously about buying and refinishing the door that was to be the headboard on the blog that got deleted because people are jerks about ducks and trees.

But what about the platform? Don't worry, I have a plan - "Sipping cocktails on the terrace, taking breakfast in bed. Sleeping easy, doing crosswords, it's attractive." Oh, and I also have a plan for the platform.



Neal prepares for sanding after making the cuts - "Descamisados! I have taken these power tools from the oligarchs only for you! FOR ALL OF YOU!"



It went together surprisingly quickly, and because we stained and finished it before assembly, it was no time at all  before we had it in the room.  Which was a relief after the heated "hanging the door on the wall" session of the previous night.

"Then I must now be Vice-President!"  cried the door.

No, we said, YOU ARE A DOOR.  

"But you just told me I'm a headboard now!" countered the door.

Touche, door. Touche.

It took about three trips to Lowe's, a box of deck screws, and four 5" carriage bolts, but it's up there and it's never coming down. EVER.



I also installed a light fixture through what had been the doorknob hole. When you turn it on, it "burns with the splendor of the brightest fire," by which I mean you can't look directly at it.



This headboard hasn't learned the lines you'd like to hear. Eventually I'll either put it on a dimmer or switch out the lightbulbs for something not quite so bright.  As for the other lighting in the room... Well, this house may not have had appliances or window screens or any color other than tan when we bought it, but it did have one distinctive piece - The world's UGLIEST ceiling fan.



Seriously.  It was impossible to lay in bed,  stare up at it, and not wonder just how such a horrible thing could have been allowed to come into existence. Was there some kind of bad design contest at the fan factory? Was it a sick joke being played by builders on unwitting consumers? Luckily we'll never have to know the answer to this question as Neal joyously and gleefully ripped it down while it cried hauntingly, "Where am I going to?" Don't ask any more.

He replaced it with a massive 70" ceiling fan that could get into a fight with Chuck Norris and WIN. Well, largely by fighting a psychological battle laden with jokes about Chuck Norris' mom but STILL. The fact that Neal actually installed it instead of making me do all the electrical work the way he usually does should imply just how vehemently he wanted that old fan gone.



When I was first planning the room I found this sort of retro whimsical fabric that I just loved. Neal wasn't so keen on it, though, so I settled for just using it to recover a chair that I picked up at Goodwill. Before:



On this night of a thousand birds, let me hold open the bedroom door...



Since I wanted to keep the bird theme going more subtly,  I did a painting of a feather and cut out some silhouettes:



Now we get to the part with the finished result!



Neal said I made too many pillows. Actually he said, "Screw the pillow class! I will never accept them. My father's other family were pillow class and we were kept out of sight, hidden from view at his funeral." So I threatened to put on Phantom of the Opera if he didn't behave himself.

The duvet was sort of the starting point for the color. I wanted something gray to help balance the yellow in the floor and something dark to make all the wainscoting look less beachy.  We found this new in the package at Goodwill for $12.50, which was a lot better than the $150.00 duvets I'd been looking at online.  On a later trip, I also found a matching sham.  So I matched the paint color to that and ended up using it on the nightstands and the bird chair, too.  I had to special order the silk shantung that I used to make the drapes and pillows, but it was 50% off and since I reused the blackout lining from the old drapes, it was still cheaper than buying even one pre-made curtain panel. All to make sure the money doesn't start rolling out, of course.



From this angle you might notice that where there used to be a table, there is now a couch. See, we went to IKEA for pillow inserts, as I'm sure so many other people do, and came out with a couch. The conversation went something like,

Kimberly and Neal: Ooh! Look! A couch!

Neal: 50% off... is that really the price?

Kimberly: I'll go ask... yes, that's really the price.

Neal: I think we should get it.

Kimberly: But where would we put it?

Neal:  In the car.

Che Guevara: Excuse my intrusion but fine as those sentiments sound, little has changed for us peasants down here on the ground...

Kimberly: Okay, I'll get a cart to put it on.

So we managed to fit a couch, three kids, three pillows, two shelves, assorted other IKEA crap, and a cello in the minivan for the drive home. Then when we got it here and moved it into the bedroom, one thing was clear - this door situation had to be fixed. We discussed, brainstormed and agonized.  Should we remove the doors completely? Replace them with curtains? Bi-fold doors? Sliding doors? At one point Neal wanted to use one of the old 3-foot wide pantry doors as a stationary panel leaving us like a 20" uncovered space of egress from the bathroom. Finally I insisted that we just buy chisels and switch the door hinges to the inside so that they just swing into the bathroom instead of opening out into the bedroom. We switched all the hardware to oil-rubbed bronze while we were at it and, as a bonus, the doors actually work without sticking now, which they never did before.



With a couch now occupying the space that previously housed my sewing table, this side of the room had to change.  Neal moved in a table from the office that was a better size and, as a bonus, offers more drawer space. I used the wall shelves as an opportunity to cram in more birds.



Okay, so I used every surface as an opportunity to cram in more birds.  Except the desk, which is now home to this thrifted typewriter. Perfect for signing your checks as 30127 - never be an account in the name of Eva Peron.



So let's hear it for the Bedroom Tour, it's been an incredible success. We weren't quite sure, we had a few doubts, but the answer is YES! It's finished!

Did you just call that fan a whore? You actually called it a whore? You better head to Cuba, and FAST.